Birth of a Homedaddy
In the Beginning ð is it worth it to keep working and hire a nanny?
10/13/1998
When my wife, Julia, became pregnant, we assumed we'd act like other dual-income yuppies and hire full-time childcare after the baby was born. Here's what we discovered: Just because you work so much you stagger around like zombies doesn't mean you can afford a nanny.
This prompted the absurd question: Could I afford to keep my job? We watched in mild disbelief as our accountant drew us pictures to prove that my salary, minus taxes, car expense, and ibuprofen, would be barely enough to hire a total stranger to spend their days in our house with Emma Louise.
I have to admit I didn't love my job. Well, it was OK, inasmuch as I never actually choked anyone while officially on the clock, but it wasn't really my calling, and when it did call I would usually make every effort to be away from my desk, if only just a few feet away. Since Julia happened to like her job, it was decided that I would enter the fast-growing, exciting field of Baby Care, an industry closed to men until fairly recently. I would join the Childcare Army ... Infantry Division.
When I resigned, my colleagues raised some interesting points: What on earth do you know about taking care of an infant? Your time will not be your own. There will be screaming and crying. You will have to clean up an alarming amount of poop. The more they tried to scare me, the more it sounded like the job I was leaving. But staying home with Emma had definite advantages: I would be undertaking one of life noblest causes while having a built-in excuse to watch cartoons.
True, I didn't look forward to sleep deprivation, crying fits and all the other trials of infant care, but I figured no task would be too distasteful if you do it for someone you love. And now I could honestly say that I would be dedicated to my boss. I'd gladly clean up any mess and endure any amount of wailing and gnashing of teeth (gums, actually). She might be my toughest boss ever, but she'd be straightforward. No company politics. She won't be filling diapers to keep me busy just so she can appear more "proactive" to someone above her on the ladder.
Babies have only pure needs, and I knew she'd let me know about them in real time. I knew I'd never wake up one Friday morning to find two dozen dirty diapers waiting for me with a post-it note on top: "I meant to tell you about these last week ... can you have them taken care of by the end of the day?"
Best of all, there would be no lame attempts at motivation. Emma would be born with her sense of importance intact, and I wouldn't be required to attend any more seminars to remind me that "Quality is Job #1" or that "Safety is Everyone's Responsibility."
What began as a practical decision is, I am told, considered trendy these days. I address such parenting issues as which baby-care products are worthwhile and which ones simply make good landfill, how to get rid of all the little fuzzy toys that have accumulated in your house without insulting the people who gave them to you at the baby shower, how to use your baby to get you out of tough situations, and most important, how to ... oops, gotta go, she's starting to fuss ...
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© Todd Pinsky 1998-2002.
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