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Stickers and Other Bribes

A few weeks ago I reviewed a potty training product called the "Happy Bull's-Eye Target Sticker." Employing responsible investigative journalistic technique (I wrote a prank e-mail to the company, which they actually answered), I was able to successfully de-bunk some of their delusional marketing claims. Unfortunately, a small handful of readers misinterpreted the column as a wholesale dismissal of the value of stickers to the Toddler Experience. I shall respond to these scurrilous charges in the time-honored fashion, by suggesting that these people grow a brain.

Any successful Toddler Management scheme is eventually forced to make use of delayed gratification, known in corporate circles as Carrot-And-Stick. Many parents typically offer sweets as rewards, although I have found this to be unsuitable, since most children will drop everything in order to rapidly devour the goodie, thereby returning herself and the parent to Square One. It's a dead-end scenario prone to rapid escalation and a zero-sum outcome.

Television, another traditional bonus, is likewise not supported by Homedaddy Laboratories¾ because of its propensity for candy advertising, as well as it's potential to expose your child to innapropriate themes like sex, violence, and politics.

Stickers, on the other hand, represent breakthrough technology in the field of Toddler Management. They are cheap, plentiful. and from the child's perspective, highly desireable.

It is hard to account for the near-mystical attraction stickers hold for little kids. The wide diversity of subjects depicted seems to suggest that the particular image is not as important as the very fact of sticker-ness. As an experiment, cut two identical shapes from a piece of colored paper, coat the back of one with a glue stick, and offer them both to your child. Within moments, the simple colored shape will discarded in favor of the adhesive-enabled version, which will be immediately elevated to the status of a holy object.

In the toddler's perpetual battle against gravity, a sticker, which adheres effortlessly to vertical or even overhanging surfaces, must be a very powerful object. Perhaps it is this ability defy the laws of the natural universe which makes stickers so attractive.

We have used them as effective encouragement for numerous activities, from finishing dinner to brushing teeth. We've also used stickers for potty training, but only in their traditioanl role as incentives. With all due respects to the Happy Bull's-Eye Target Sticker company, it is my opinion that the use of stickers as potty targets tends to depreciate their value as rewards for other positive behaviors.

For several months now we have allowed Emma to put a sticker on her potty seat each time she uses it, with the result that it is now totally covered. I imagine that the first time she sees an Ohio State football game on TV she'll take one look at the quarterback's sticker-covered helmet and draw some definite conclusions about his bathroom skills.

Next week: tips and tricks for cleaning the stickers off a fifty-cent yard sale potty seat with a common sandblaster.

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© Todd Pinsky 1998-2002. All rights reserved.