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Welcome, Stella

Well, they all said this baby was coming a little early, and by Jove, if they didn't hit the nail on the head this time.

Stella Marie was born last Saturday night, December 23rd, at 10:36 PM. Or was it 10:37?

For the second time, we had our baby at home, with a couple of midwives and a couple of friends for support. It was a completely perfect experience. I don't know what else to say. Even though it wasn't my body undergoing the special effects, I think Julia would agree.

I could go on and on about little Stella; how beautiful and perfect she is, even though, to the impartial observer I suppose she might seem much like any other newborn. She looks like a tiny pink rag doll, and she basically eats and sleeps, with only a little bit of crying in between.

But this column is about being a Homedaddy. Since Julia is obviously staying home these days relaxing, recuperating, and bonding with Stella, I have been devoting the majority of my attention to Emma, to assist her through these transition times.

We've been working hard to prepare her, but who am I kidding? She's not even three years old. She understands the concept of a baby sister, but this whole permanence thing seems to be throwing her for a loop. Of course it is. I don't quite have a grip on it myself.

Stella was born on Saturday. Emma's daycare was closed on Monday, Christmas Day, as well as Tuesday. Since our plans haven't included leaving the house very much, our new family unit has spent the past few days in very close quarters. Mostly it's been warm and fuzzy, but there have been brief moments that sparked memories of that creepy neighborhood kid who used to put different bugs into a jar and shake it up to make them fight.

Emma's reaction to Stella has been age-appropriate, which is to say, hot and cold. She runs the gamut from gooey sentimentality to jealous rage, with the latter end of the spectrum holding a very slight edge.

Last night, Emma and I went to the local ice cream parlor for the weekly kiddie sing-along session, leaving Julia and Stella for another nap. We've been regulars there for a long time, and at first I thought about how exciting it would be to tell Susan, the singer-emcee, about Emma's new little sister.

As we arrived, I detected an elevation in Emma's mood that made me hold off. It wasn't just the ice cream. I kept a close eye on her, figuring I'd take her cue. I realized that this was the first time in four days that some aspect of her activity was not centered around the recent and somewhat jarring change in her family structure.

Everyone needs a little break now and then, so we just ate ice cream, played toy tambourines, and sang "I'm a Little Teapot." This was Emma's night out. We'll be back next week, and many times thereafter. We'll have plenty of chances to tell them about Stella.

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© Todd Pinsky 1998-2002. All rights reserved.