Home

About Homedaddy

Archives

Subscribe

Tell A Newspaper

Contact

Music

Publisher's Area

Dark Day Behind, Dark Days Ahead

A week ago, it was still pretty easy for parents of young children to maintain the Big Happy World hoax. Teddy bears, ice cream, cartoons on Saturday morning. As parents, we know that they'll eventually grow up, they'll become aware of the their world, and they'll realize that they were shielded from many harsh realities.

We always think it will happen slowly, over much time, but on Tuesday, everything went way too fast.

It's been a horrendous week. I sympathize with parents of children older than mine; old enough to use the TV under their own power and to want some answers. Children who are old enough to avoid parental content screening.

Our daughters are still young enough to be under protective censorship. Emma is three and a half, so it's mostly a question of keeping the remote on a high bookshelf. Stella isn't even nine months; what does she know?

Experts are divided on how parents should speak to children about huge disasters. At some point past some arbitrary age, it seems that honesty is the best policy. But three and a half? It's pointless.

Still, you also can't wander around the house day after day in hollow-eyed dread without arousing some suspicion, even from a tyke. So you have to pretend that everything is normal, because if it isn't, there will be questions, and it's just not OK to tell a three-year-old that you're upset because you're afraid that the world is going to hell.

So you keep a finger on the remote, keeping tabs on the nightmare out of the corner of one eye, all the while making nice happy talk to the little ones. They pick up on the tone of voice very well, so be convincing. You wouldn't want to sound like you just watched maybe tens of thousands of people perish in a burning, bloody horrorshow. Nope. Wouldn't want to sound down in the mouth.

Like many others, I found it impossible to stop watching the tube. I didn't worry too much about Stella. I kept the TV volume low and my own voice calm. She's younger and easier to fool.

Emma, on the other hand, needed to be diverted. I made a special concession and allowed her to watch videos in another room for the better part of the day. First choice was the Raffi concert video, so as we watched endless repetitions of those plane-impact and tower collapse clips; probably the most frightening video images of all time, the soundtrack of Raffi wafted in from the next room: "The more we get together, the happier we'll be, Ícause your friends are my friends and my friends are your friendsð"

Will this be a historical event that we will tell them about when we decide they are old enough? Or will it set into motion a series of events that will create a world so different from the one we knew last week that soon we'll have to tell stories about the old days. Back before the War.

Because War is a word which now figures prominently whenever television sets are on. Not a retaliatory strike, but a prolonged campaign with a profound impact on global stability. How will the current crop of three-year-olds and the eight-month-olds eventually learn about this? From the history books, or from looking out the window?

And what about kids who are old enough to sense the trouble and voice their concerns? On a FEMA website, it is suggested that adults should answer questions about terrorism by providing "understandable information and realistic reassurance."

A fine idea, except that neither of these items are currently in stock.

send this column to a friend!
have a comment about this column?

© Todd Pinsky 1998-2002. All rights reserved.