The Return of Homedaddy
I wasn't loafing. I was brainstorming.
07/08/2002
Actually, I never really went anywhere. I just stopped writing columns for about six months. Thanks to all loyal readers during the first three years of Homedaddy. In the notable absence of publication fees, your feedback and support were all that kept me motivated. My apologies to you low self-esteem types who assumed you’d been dropped from the mailing list and contacted me to ask what’s the big idea. Relax, you’re still top-drawer material. Also, welcome to new readers who have been introduced to Homedaddy via the web, radio, or word of mouth.
Since my last column was posted in January, perhaps a little explanation is in order.
The writing business took a turn for the worse last summer when all the major newspapers switched over to the infamous "All-Rights" contract for freelancers, which stipulates that once they publish a column, they own the copyright flat out (for the princely sum of zero additional dollars). Since this effectively kills the self-syndication concept, I had to accept the fact that my plans to build a humor column dynasty were not going to pan out.
In the face of these developments, I allowed myself to get caught up in the routine strife of family living, and became less and less willing to stay up till 4 AM writing sarcastically cute essays that no one would buy. Excuses were plentiful. Holidays, birthdays, Mondays… anything goes. As Zappa said, "A week went by and now it’s July…" So I can still blame it on the holidays, even though by now it’s Independence Day.
Aside from continuing full-time Homedaddy duties, I spent some time trying to generate interest in releasing the Homedaddy collection in book form. Although there were a few bites, the general consensus was that collections of short pieces from "unknowns" will not sell.
The web economy remains quarantined in the basement, which means that Homedaddy columns remain in great demand as long as I supply them at no cost. I have circulated a dozen or so columns through various parenting and/or humor websites. Critical acclaim remains high; monetary compensation remains non-existent.
Eventually I began to develop other projects in video and music. You’ll hear more about these later. Meanwhile, children and debt experienced uncontrollable growth, while events that used to merit their own weekly column came and went, undocumented.
The last time I wrote on a weekly schedule, Stella hadn’t yet seen her first birthday, first step, or first words (real words). Big sister Emma had just entered preschool as a freshman on a fingerpainting scholarship and was still daydreaming vociferously of getting a kitten. Not owning one, feeding one, or cleaning up after one, but getting one. There is a difference.
By now, Stella walks and talks (and runs and yells), and we have not one but two kittens: Merle and Corndog, a sister-brother team from the same litter. Other minor events like birth and death also occurred, but you got the important stuff.
Even though I had stopped writing, my Homedaddy columns on the web continued to attract welcome attention. I received email from all over the country on columns that had been sitting out there for over a year, including several genuine inquiries as to the whereabouts of Wayne "The Stain" Parnell of the National Performance Washing Association (www.homedaddy.net, archives, #112 Goodbye Blue Monday).
In June 2002 I was contacted by Michelle Caldwell and Traci Foster, hosts of the popular weekly internet radio program "The Mom Show" to be a featured guest for their Fathers Day webcast. So one thing led to another and now I’ll be on for an hour each month to provide expert commentary on the issues of new millennium parenting but mostly to be a smart-ass. I’ll also be on for 5-minute guest rants every other week.
This all begins Thursday July 11, from 11:20 – 12:20 PM at
http://12.162.161.64/cart/ProductDetail.asp?PR_ProductID=13
If you’re not able to tune in live, they have a convenient archive so you can listen any time.
In light of this I think I’ll come out of retirement and start writing Homedaddy again, albeit with some stylistic changes Entries will no longer be crafted as newspaper columns, but will have more of a stream-of-consciousness flavor… or perhaps something like the "three dot" style of Herb Caen. This will make it easier for me to get it done within my stingy schedule, and hopefully to tie it in with the regular radio appearance too. I will probably respond more than ever to reader and listener input for topics and opinion fodder… as if I ever needed any nudges in that direction.
That all said, I hope you’ll enjoy hearing regularly from Homedaddy. I look forward to once again being in touch with the outside world.
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© Todd Pinsky 1998-2002.
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